


Onion Dip

by MarieJohnson123



Category: Bates Motel (2013)
Genre: Bates Motel - Freeform, Crazy, Dysfunctional Family, Family, Funny, Gen, Humor, Spoof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2891288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieJohnson123/pseuds/MarieJohnson123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Bates/Massett family reunion goes bad real fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Onion Dip

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ezzie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ezzie/gifts).



> So, this story is for my friend and writing buddy Ezzie. Honey, I know your birthday was yesterday, this one shot wasn't done in time and I wanted to perfect it. I hope you like it, it's just a random little thing I was inspired to write. Happy Late Birthday, Heather <3

It was evening in White Pine Bay, a full moon graced the sky, and the Bates Motel parking lot was completely empty for the night. Dylan Massett sighed as he began walking up the stairs to his mother’s home, feeling his heart pulse, he grasped a hold of his wife’s hand. 

Her name was Lucy, she and Dylan were going strong for eight months when he asked her to marry him. They chose to have a private ceremony, with limited guests and a scarce budget. She took a deep breath and looked at him as he paused his walking. “You know...it’s not too late to turn back and go home” she exclaimed through a pair of clenched teeth. 

“You know we have to go. Norma has been dying to see us and Norman is finally home from college, trust me I’m sure he really wants to meet you” he comforted, running his thumb over her soft skin. 

“Oh sweetheart, can’t we meet him separately? I mean...we both know your mother doesn't like me, she makes it bluntly obvious”. 

Dylan took her face in his hands and kissed her cheek. “She just doesn't get along with a lot of people, it took us almost twenty three years to patch up our relationship” he laughed. 

“Dylan…” she whined, a look of immaturity and distaste on her pretty face. 

He rolled his eyes playfully and started walking again. “Come on”. 

Lucy followed along with a heavy huff, her heart thumping hard. She looked back at the main road and parking lot as Dylan knocked at the door, it was plain to see that she was planning the perfect escape route. 

To his surprise, Sheriff Romero answered the door with a small smile. “Hello Dylan, your mother’s in the kitchen, she’s just finishing making a few appetizers. Lucy, it’s good to see you” he greeted, looking past Dylan to the young female looking away. 

She flashed a wide smile, remembering Alex from all the gatherings Norma threw, she knew they were a couple. “Hey Alex. How’ve you been?” she asked with a kind tone of voice. Though she wasn't a fan of Norma, she did like Alex, he was a good guy. 

“I've been good actually. Norma and I have been welcoming Norman back home. He’s just upstairs getting ready, he should be down soon” he claimed, opening the door wide enough for them to come in. Dylan stepped in with a grin, he liked how Alex stepped in and became more of a father figure towards Norman, he was also a good distraction for Norma so she didn't suffocate her son with so much unrequited attention. 

The couple made their way to the living room and sat on the couch, Lucy’s sweaty hand sliding into Dylan’s, not ready to face Norma. It’s not that she intimidated her, she was just so overbearing and intolerable to be around sometimes, and Lucy was certainly not used to that kind of behavior. She grew up with a mother who was a preschool teacher and a therapist father. She longed for that calm, mellow, supportive atmosphere that the Bates home was certainly lacking. She stayed put, with her mouth closed, taking deep inhales. 

Alex walked into the heated kitchen, moving towards Norma, only to wrap his arms around her waist. “Dylan and Lucy are here. We just need Norman and we’ll be set to go, right?”. 

She rolled her eyes slightly at the sound of that girl’s name. She didn't like her at all, Lucy was incredibly snotty and such a know it all. She forged smile for Alex and twisted towards him, kissing his lips quickly. “Can you bring out the onion dip, please? I’m gonna call Norman”. 

Alex nodded, grabbing the clay bowl from counter, and moving into the living room. Norma turned her oven off and walked to the staircase, clearing her throat. “NORMAAAN! Get down here!”. 

Lucy sat on the coach, hearing Norma’s vocals full pitched. She let out a huff, she was no stranger to the woman’s scream. She shot a hateful look towards Dylan and he slid an arm around her, pulling her body closer. Meanwhile, Norman obediently trotted down the stairs and gave Norma a smile. “Sorry about that Mother, I was getting ready”. 

“Well, you clean up nice. Now come into the living room and say hello to your Dylan and Lucy” she said, moving into the space with him. 

“Hi sweetheart” Norma greeted once she saw Dylan. He rose to give her a hug which she returned gratefully. Norman gave him one as well, saying nothing but watching his mother do the formal greetings. She glanced at Lucy and gave a tiny, tight lipped smile. “Hello, dear” she said simply, taking a place on the couch next to Alex. 

Lucy turned to Dylan, “Is it too early to start drinking? Nothing heavy, you know. Maybe just a few tequila shooters” she said, knowing Norma’s eyes were burning holes into her. 

“Excuse me?” Norma scoffed, this time giving Lucy the most evil glare of all, it was worse than when she was at the altar and said “I do”. Lucy had finally caved, she turned to Norma and gave a glare right back. 

“You know what” she began, standing up from the seat. Dylan tried to stop her but Lucy swatted his hand away. “I said I needed a drink, Norma. You wanna know why? Because without an illegal dose of vodka coursing through my veins, I don’t think I could handle you!” she yelled, not bothering to look at the awkward guests in the room. 

Norma stood her ground, shooting up and looking her straight in the eye. “Who the hell do you think you are? Coming into my home and treating me like this? You're not even one to talk, walking around her with your nose pointed up high...you think you're so much better than the rest of us!” she shouted, getting closer to her. 

She flashed an appalled look her way. “Are you kidding me? You really think I believe that I’m better than all of you?!”. 

Norma nodded with a smart ass grin. “Yes, I do. You're always talking about your fancy job as a doctor and how you grew up with nice, educated parents. Frankly, I take that as a slap in the face”. 

“Oh come on! Please! I do NOT think I’m better than anyone, you’re crazy” she scoffed, walking towards Dylan. He let out a small chuckle. Lucy turned her rage to him, “What the hell is so funny?”. 

He laughed a little harder this time, walking to the center of the room. “I just think it’s a little ridiculous...you don’t place yourself above my mother...my mother? I mean I love her but come on...she’s loud, resilient, domineering. Watch this,” he began, turning to his mother, “Norma, remember when we were at the mall a few days ago? And that old lady took the parking spot you were eyeing?”. 

She nodded. “Yeah...the old bat stole it right from me. I had the right away” she defended, her voice becoming more and more annoyed. 

“Right. But what did you do after that?” he asked. 

“I took the spot next to her”. 

“Mm-hm, but what kind of spot did you take, Norma?”.  
“The handicapped spot”. 

A knowing smile grew over Dylan’s lips. “Right. What did you do after that?”. 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “I keyed the old bitch’s car. You were there with me”. 

“Yeah, you did. And how did you defend that you belonged in that parking spot when mall security came up to you so they could see your parking sticker?”. 

“I...I faked a limp and a stutter so they didn't ask questions”. 

Dylan motioned to Norma and gave Lucy a look. Norma cleared her throat. “What do you want from me?! Nordstroms was having a sale on sweaters!”. 

“And that’s only the beginning, I mean, I could go on and on with Norma” he announced to the room. “Mom, would you like to tell me what you did for a job a few months after I was born?”. 

“I was an erotic dancer” she exclaimed, taking note of Alex now staring at her in desire. Dylan squinted at her, skepticism all over his face. “So you were a stripper?”. 

Norma scoffed loudly, giving him a scornful look. “No Dylan, I was not a stripper” she claimed, saying the word as if it were a swear.  
“Hold on. Did you or did you not take off your clothes while greasy old men threw dollar bills at you?” he asked, giving her a glare. 

“Fine. I was a stripper! But it was something to put food on the table and electricity in the home. Those greasy old men were the reason you had a crib and fresh diapers” she exclaimed in defense. 

“I rest my case” he said, turning back to Lucy. “You're saying that you're not better than Norma Bates?”. She folded her arms across her chest and looked at Dylan honestly. “No I am not”. 

“Fine. Then I guess I’ll have to move to Exhibit B. Norman, why don’t I ask you something now”. 

Norman stood and faced Dylan, still holding a peaceful face. “I’m not sure what you can question me on, I’m not that peculiar am I?”. 

Dylan scoffed and glanced at him. “Remember when I had to spend the room in your night a few months ago and it was boiling hot. You had your blankets tucking your whole body away. Why is that?” he asked. 

“Everybody knows it’s bad luck to sleep with your legs outside the covers…” he began, his face reddening in shame, he knew what was coming. 

“And why, little brother, is it bad luck?” he questioned, smirking at what the answer was.  
“Because the demons will grab your legs...it’s not my fault, Mother told me that!” he yelled in defense. 

Norma shot up from her seat and looked at everyone. “I told you shit! Norman, you're almost nineteen years old and you still believe in middle of the night monsters? Jesus...I thought I needed therapy” she sighed, plopping back down. 

Norman gave Dylan a look of hatred. “What about you? You're not perfect in this family either” he said. 

Dylan nodded and moved next to Lucy. “No...of course I’m not. I may be one of the worst. I resented my mother for twenty years, I abandoned my brother in a house of crazy people when he was eight years old, I sometimes smoke the pot I used to guard, and on wild occasion I pee in the shower. No, I’m not perfect and neither is my family. But you need to admit that you think you're better than us” he said, giving her a pained look. 

“I don’t believe this” she whispered, looking at everyone in the room around her. “Is this what you all want to hear? That I think I’m better? I am better! I pride myself on being better than this family! So, yes I am educated and a came from a great family, it’s certainly a step up from the insane wreck that surrounds you people. For the love of God…” she began, pointing at Norma. “You're just plain out of your mind”. 

Next she pointed at Norman. “Kid, I don’t know what you are but it’s certainly not normal...though I can’t blame you, look around!”.  
She motioned to Alex who stayed planted next to Norma the entire time. “You...you can just be plain cold but I give you some credit because you don’t have the personality and social graces of an escaped mental patient” she scoffed, turning her attention to Dylan. “And you...I love you to death but this family has scarred you in so many god damn ways”. She sighed, heading out of the room, and outside of the house. 

Norma took a deep breath and gave everyone in the room a warm smile. 

“So, who wants to try the onion dip?”


End file.
